i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Oh god it's open bar.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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