Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
