I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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