i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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