party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
there is puke in my bra ... again
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
