she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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