i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
