Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
