like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
