So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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