We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
my poor anus
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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