I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
