there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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