I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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