My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
bring money and cleavage
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
