If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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