So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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