just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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