I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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