We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
How external is "for external use only"?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
