but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
