maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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