i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
