Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
