I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
