If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
