What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize