I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
