you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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