Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
