Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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