Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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