How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
