hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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