how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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