My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
