I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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