i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
