as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
