i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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