remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
