ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
