Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
