yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
