i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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