I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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