my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Come on in and take your pants off
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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