i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
