I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
whose ass print is on the piano?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
