My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize