chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
