i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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