i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
