I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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