This is not my ceiling
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i dont even know how to be here
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
