remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
