WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
